One Ring To Out Cool Them All
by MoonlitPuddle
Summary: Passing over Caradhras, Gandalf tries a spell that goes very, very wrong. Forget UrukHai, now the Fellowship have to contend with fast food, technolgy, and an unexpected visitor as well...
1. Chapter 1

**_Disclaimer: _** _I own nothing here, none of the Fellowship or the landscape. Duh._

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_**Chapter One.**_

Frodo was dreaming. He was dreaming a very comfortable dream of sitting before a fire in warmth and peace. He could hear Bilbo's voice saying something about a diary and snowstorms, but then he came awake with a start to find Boromir lifting him out from under a blanket of snow. Boromir brushed snow off from Frodo's clothes and set him on his feet, saying to Gandalf, ' This will be the death of the halflings. It is useless to stay here until the snow goes over our heads. We must do something to save ourselves.'

Gandalf rummaged in his pack and produced a leathern flask. ' Give them this.' he said. ' Just a mouthful each - for all of us. It is _miruvor_, the cordial of Imladris. Elrond gave it to me at our parting. Pass it round! '

The hobbits eagerly gulped their portions of the warm, fragrant drink, feeling better with each swallow. Pippin's teeth stopped chattering, and Sam began to look more cheerful, even though the snow whirled around them even thicker than before, and the wind howled underneath the cliff-wall where the Fellowship were sheltering on their way over Caradhras.

' What do you say to fire?' asked Boromir suddenly. ' The choice seems near now between fire and death, Gandalf. Doubtless we shall be hidden from all unfriendly eyes when the snow has covered us, but that will not help us.'

' You may make a fire, if you can,' Gandalf replied. ' If there are any watchers that can endure this storm, then they can see us, fire or no.'

But no matter how hard any of them tried, the wet wood refused to hold any flame whatsoever. After watching Aragorn and Gimli's futile efforts, Gandalf shook his head and took up his staff. He thrust the end into the pile of wood, opened his mouth to say something, then stopped, and shut it. He seemed to think for a few minutes, then, frowning, rattled off a string of words that none of them understood. There was a flash of blue and green light, then everything went black. For a moment, everyone felt very giddy, then there was a thud.

Frodo blinked, and gazed about him in shock. The snow, the wind, Caradhras, all had gone. Instead, he and all the others of the Fellowship were standing on a wide bit of grass near a brown pebbly path. The grass went from a group of tousled bushes up to some railings painted a dark and dirty purple. Beyond the railings was noise, lots of strange noises, and Frodo could see lots of people going hither and thither on the street outside the railings.

Merry, Pippin and Sam were gazing about with their mouths half-open; Gimli's eyes were on stalks; Boromir was frowning; Legolas looked dumbstruck; Aragorn looked at Gandalf. Gandalf tugged on his beard in annoyance as he surveyed the park they were in, and saw the sun flashing off of metal moving things that he had never seen before, beyond the railings. ' Now why did that happen?' he asked of the world in general.

' Gandalf...' Pippin began. ' Where are we?'

' If I knew where we were, I would have avoided coming here! ' Gandalf snapped.

Boromir said, ' We could be close to Mordor, or Isengard, or someother place where are enemies are. I suggest two of us go and see if we know our surroundings. Perhaps we may find out from the locals, if we are tactful.'

' Be careful!' Gandalf cautioned, as Boromir and Aragorn set off towards the railings, where most of the noise and activity was coming from. The others watched them go through the purple gate in the railings and out of their site. Gimli surreptitiously felt the edge of his axe, and muttered to the hobbits, ' Stay close. We don't know what enemies may be here.'

' It would be a start if we knew where here actually was,' Sam muttered back, but subsided when he saw Gandalf's eyebrows draw together in a scowl. After a wait that stretched for several eons, Aragorn and Boromir returned. Boromir was pale, and Aragorn looked grim.

Boromir spoke first: ' We asked someone - a man on the street outside, where this was. He said it was near Varden Street, and when we asked him what city and country this was, he laughed, and said that the city was called London, the country was called England, and did we want the map co-ordinates. Then he laughed again and asked if we were foreigners.'

' We said that we had started out from Rivendell, also called Imladris, and had he heard of it?' Aragorn said, with a mixture of worry and amazement. ' At that, he laughed more than ever, and said, "Well, of all the fans I've met, you're the most sincere. You even look the part!" Then he went away, and we came back. Gandalf, this place is...I do not know how to describe it. It is loud, and busy, and there are so many of these large metal things that roar along the streets with a noise worse than a winged Nazgul. It is a wonder that people can control them, and are not knocked down by them, for they seem to go along by themselves, like a cart with no horse, yet faster than any horse.'

Boromir shook his head. ' This is like no place that I know of. It is not Middle Earth. Gandalf, you have taken us into another world altogether! '

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_A/N: Yeah, I know, trite storyline. It was just an idea I had, though, and I hope to put an original idea in here somewhere._


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer:**_ _I own nix._

**Three reviews for my first chapter! Thankee y'all who did the reviewing! And Arodiel, look below for double quotation marks!**

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_**Chapter Two.**_

The Fellowship all looked helplessly at Gandalf, who was slowly shaking his head. "This, I do not think even Saruman could have guessed would happen."

"We can't just stay here." Frodo said. "Do the people look dangerous, Aragorn?"

The ranger shook his head. "Not at all. In fact, they look very harmless; there should be no trouble with them at all."

"If this is another world," Merry said. "It seems just like our one. It looks the same, the air is the same, and there are birds and plants like in Middle Earth."

"I wonder if they have food the same in this world." Pippin mused. At Gandalf's sigh, he defended himself: "We were in the snow for ages, Gandalf, and you must be as hungry as I am."

"And, how, Peregrin Took, are we to obtain this food that will fill the bottomless abyss that is your stomach? Do not forget that we have supplies ourselves."

"Actually." Legolas pointed out. "We do not have supplies. They were on Bill the pony, and he has not been taken with us into this new world."

Sam looked dismayed. It was true, although he had not noticed it up til then. Bill was not with them. Pippin looked hopeful at this news, and Gandalf sighed again. He was as hungry as Pippin, but he felt the need for caution more than Pippin did. "Well, we must venture out at some point. It might as well be in the search for food. Very well, Pippin, your stomach shall be filled."

They all went to the gates of the park, and pushing them open, started along down the street. "Do not talk to the locals." Gandalf instructed. "We still do not know where their loyalties lie, or whether this London is near to Mordor. We still have a quest to fufil; the Ringbearer must still be accompanied to Mount Doom, even if we are no longer sure where Mount Doom is."

They carried along in single file along the streets, trying to stick together amidst the people that crowded about. "Why do I get the feeling that we're attracting stares?" Frodo muttered to Sam.

"Now, don't worry, Mister Frodo. Gandalf knows what he's doing, and we're all armed."

"That wasn't quite what I meant."

"I know what you mean." Merry said. "People are staring at us like we've got the eye of Sauron branded on our foreheads. But they look strange as well. They're dressed so differently, and the women are wearing men's clothes, and some of the men have no hair at all."

"Frodo!" Pippin hissed excitedly. "Look!"

"What?"

"I saw a woman with pink hair!"

"You couldn't have, Pippin!" Frodo exclaimed. "Not _pink_."

"It was! Pink with bits of silver sparkle in!"

Their attention was distracted from the pink hair by a boy who was leaning against the street wall. As they passed, he caught Legolas' eye and grinning at him, waved, and said, "_Mae govannen, Legolas_!"

Legolas swung around to face him, and asked quickly, "_Pedich Edhellen_?"

The boy laughed, "Oh, I don't know that much! Only _mae govannen_, _leithio i philinn_, and stuff like that. You really look the part, you do. All of you do - just like the actors, except a little different. And you're missing the Elven cloaks. Are you going to a party or something?"

Legolas had not understood half of what the boy was saying about "actors" and "looking the part". Instead, he asked, "How did you know who I am?"

The boy rolled his eyes. "Dude, if you want people to guess at your costume, choose one not so well known, alright? I mean, a five year old could tell you that you're Frodo, you're Aragorn, you're Boromir, you're Gimli, you're Gandalf, you're Merry, you're Pippin, and you're Sam. You lot are the Fellowship. _Duh_."

As the boy walked away, Aragorn said, "How did he know who we are? And how did he know Elvish?"

"He had an appalling accent..." Legolas muttered.

"This is strange." Gimli said. "It is as though they know who we are, but do not realise who we are...if that makes sense." he finished lamely.

Gandalf frowned. "There is only one way to find out." He approached a woman with a small child tugging at either hand. "Lady." he began courteously. "Do you know who we are?"

The woman looked exasperated, and snapped sarcastically "Excuse me for pointing out the obvious, but you blokes are dressed up as those silly people in The Lord of the Rings, and if you're gonna ask me to do some stupid quiz about whether I've seen the films or read the books, the answer is no, and stop wasting my time."

"I am sorry." Gandalf said hastily, "But you see..."

He spoke to empty air. The woman had crossed the road, yanking at her children's hands in order to hurry them up. "Rude." Gandalf observed. "But she knew who we are, even if she didn't like us."

There was a silence, as they all tried to work out their situation. Then Pippin broke it. "If we brought something to eat, we could enquire - discreetly - at the same time."

"For once, you have made a suggestion that has merit." Gandalf told him.

"That place seems to be one to buy food in." Merry said, pointing down the crowded street, to where a large golden M was visible above a shop door. Certainly, it was full of people. Pippin sniffed the air, and said, "I can smell it. Nice."

They headed towards the golden M, but before they got there, a woman with black paint on her lips stopped in front of Frodo and thrust a sheet of paper under his nose. "Hey, Blue-Eyes," she gushed. "Will you just take a few minutes and fill out this survey for me? It'll only take a second."

"Oh, ah...oh, alright." Frodo said, confused. He took the pen the woman offered him and blinked at the sheet of questions: _How many times do buy pop magazines? Do you spend more than £5.00 on pop magazines? Would you recomend pop magazines to your friends?_ Frodo stared at them, then ran down the page, ticking the "no" box for every question. There was a space at the bottom of the page, saying, _Please sign your name here_. Frodo did so, and handed it back to Black-Lips. Black-Lips took it, and glanced down the page. Frodo moved away, but she called him back: "Hold on, Bluey! I want a proper name here, not who you're dressed up as!"

"But that is my real name!" Frodo protested. "Frodo Baggins."

"On your bike, Bluey! Just because you might be as cute as Frodo, dosn't make you him in real life!"

"I am Frodo Baggins!"

Black-Lips closed her eyes and opened them again. "Frodo Baggins," she said slowly, as though explaining to a five-year old that two plus two did not make three, "is a fictional character. He - is - not - real. Neither is Gandalf, Aragorn, Boromir, Gimli, or any of the hobbits. Where did you lot escape from?"

"Middle Ear-"

"Yeah, yeah, we've done that one. Sheesh, some people just take fandom miles too far."

In a daze, Frodo met Gandalf's eyes. The old wizard passed a hand over his brow, and repeated heavily, " 'Fictional characters'? We are 'fictional' characters? Fictional?"

None of them had ever heard him sound so lost. Before, Gandalf had always known what was happening, what was what, who was who. Now, he sounded unsure, helpless even. They could not blame him. Being thrust into another world, where everything was different, where everyone was different, where they had just been told that they were fictional characters would make anyone feel dazed.

"Well, that explains it." Gimli said. "But what did that boy mean about "actors", I wonder?"

"Never mind that now." Aragorn said. "I think I could do with a drink as well as something to eat. We will be able to think better when we have food inside us."

"What about money?" Merry asked. "We don't have any, and they might use a different sort here."

Pippin's face fell. Sam asked, "Couldn't we sell something?"

"What?"

"Well, don't we have anything? Could you sell one, just _one_, of your arrows, Legolas?"

"Certainly not!" Legolas exclaimed. "Who would want to buy one arrow, anyway?"

Frodo was looking about him for inspiration, and his eye fell on a man outside the place with the big gold M. The man was sitting on his coat, blowing softly into a small brass whistle, a black and brown dog curled up at his side. In front of him, the man had placed his cap, and occasionally as people went by, one would toss the man a coin. Frodo said, "Look, Gandalf."

They all looked where Frodo was pointing, and Pippin exclaimed, "Yes! We can do that! Gandalf can do some tricks, and Sam can be the dog at his side to encourage sympathy."

"Tricks?"

"The dog?"

"That's a good idea." Boromir said thoughtfully. Gandalf seemed to be struggling with his pride and his sense of responsibility for a moment, then he gave in. He spread his cloak on the ground in front of another shop where lots of people were going in, and stood on it. "They can put the money on the cloak," he growled in answer to Pippin's protest that they ought to do it properally and put Gandalf's hat on the floor as a collecting pot.

Gandalf started his display with lighting up his crystal that was in his staff. Then he raised it up and sent a beam of light up into the sky. That immediately attracted a crowd, who then watched, open-mouthed, as Gandalf drew light-pictures in the air, shaping the light from his crystal into ships, dragons, and warriors waving swords and lances. When he made the warriors fight and slay the light-dragon, all the watchers cheered; then nearly everyone began feeling in their pockets, and tossed coins onto the cloak. The light-warriors got into the light-ships and sailed away, vanishing into thin air. The crowd hung around for a bit longer, hoping for more, but when it became clear that Gandalf was finished, they too departed.

Pippin and Sam began collecting all the money that had been thrown them. "There's fourteen of these round gold coins." Pippin said, holding them in his hand. "And one big gold and silver coin, and twenty-three of these silver coins with too many sides."

"They've got numbers on." Sam observed, handing his to Gandalf, who took them and looked at them intently.

"I should think these will pay for food." Gimli said. "We can see how the food is priced; there are notices inside."

They all went inside the place with the big M above the door. Inside it was full of noise and people. "Find a table," Aragorn said to the hobbits, and as they and Boromir and Gandalf burrowed their way through the people, he and Legolas and Gimli went to stand in the long line of people.

"Why is this taking so long?" Gimli asked impatiently after a while.

"There are a lot of people waiting before us." Aragorn explained patiently. Eventually, the line of people shifted until they were at the front.

"Yes?" asked a bored looking girl in a dirty navy overall behind the counter. She looked up, saw Aragorn, saw Legolas - Gimli was too short to be visible - and blinked. Then she smiled coyly. "And what can I get you?"

For a moment, Aragorn didn't know what to say, not sure what food was avaliable, and not reassured by the girl's smile. Legolas chipped in, "I'd like nine Quarter Pounders with chips and coke."

The girl nodded, and beagn tapping the box in front of her. "What are Quarter Pounders with chips and coke?" Aragorn whispered to Legolas.

"I do not know." the elf whispered back. "I just heard someone saying it."

"Then let us just hope that everyone will like them." Gimli muttered from beneath the counter.

The girl slapped a number of boxes on a tray, and Aragorn put all the money they had gathered on the counter-top. She glanced at it, picked out a number of the gold coins, then shoved the rest back to Aragorn. "There you go, enjoy your meal!"

Aragorn juggled with the tray and money, and followed Legolas and Gimli to the table where the others were already installed. Aragorn gave everyone one of the boxes and the tall containers which held liquid inside. Pippin immediately opened his box, and surveyed the big bun-thing inside. It oozed cheese, vegetables and sauce out the sides. He took a tentative bite, the others following his every movement. Pippin closed his eyes, chewed, swallowed. Then he said, still with his eyes closed, "Eat your's quickly." He opened his eyes, and grinned. "Before I do! This is wonderful!"

Relieved, the others began eating; and their rapturous silence said all that they had not words to express. When Frodo had finished, he reached for the thing with the liquid in. Merry had watched the diners around them, and had collected nine long thin straws which he poked into the hole at the top of the cup. Now Frodo took a long pull at his straw, coughing as the icey-cold, fizzing drink entered his mouth. "What is this called again, Legolas?"

"Coke." Legolas replied indistinctly through a mouthful of lettuce. Aragorn said, "What is it like, Frodo?"

"It tickles, but it is good. It has...bounce..."

Pippin began his Coke as well. Gandalf was chewing slowly with obvious enjoyment; Merry was seeking out stray crumbs; Sam was gazing dreamily at a chip he held between his fingers. "So golden..." he murmured.

Pippin took his straw out of his mouth. "Considering the food, I think it won't be too bad staying here for a while. We can find out how to get back to Middle Earth later."

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	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer:**_ _I own nix._

**Thank you everyone who reviewed!**

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_**Chapter Three.**_

Feeling rather bloated, the Fellowship left the big M, and ambled about the streets, going nowhere in particular. Pippin was still sucking at his coke and waiting for his ice-cubes to melt. The grease, salt and sugar seemed to have stimulated Gandalf's brain, for he was thinking hard, pulling on his beard, and not paying any attention to his surroundings. Aragorn asked him what he was thinking of.

"The records..." Gandalf walked into a big hard post with a lantern at the top. Rubbing his forehead where he had hit it, he said, "The records at Isengard. A long time ago, when I went through them, I found something that I think relates to our present situation."

"What?"

"A document."

"Gandalf, now is not the time for riddles."

Gandalf smiled. "It is not a riddle; it is all I can remember."

The hobbits stared, bug-eyed at the shops they passed. It was getting dark, and the streets were brightly lit by lots of lights in flashing colours. Loud music blared from one open shop doorway, and they stopped, enthralled by the beat. The music jumped; and seemed to bounce right up into the sky in the joy of being alive, tried to touch the stars simply for the fun of it. Entranced, they forgot to move on when the others did, and were left behind for several minutes before Legolas noticed they were missing.

"You must keep up with us!" Gandalf scowled. "What would happen if we got seperated?"

"We'd head for the nearest big M." Pippin said innocently.

"Peregrin Took, one more foolish comment from you, and you will never see the inside of a big M again!" Gandalf stopped suddenly. Pippin, thinking he had finished getting his earful, gazed longingly at the shop where the music was still coming from. A group of teenagers came out, all talking with each other. One saw Pippin looking, and said, "Cool outfit, man."

Pippin, trying not to be put off by the fact that the boy had no hair, and that he did not know whether "cool" was good or bad, asked, "What music is that playing?"

That got the others' attentions as well. "Its Rendez - Vous Four, Curly-Top."

"Jean Michel Jarre. Spacey, huh?"

"Supreme cool!"

"Yes...cool." Pippin tried out the unfamiliar word, decided he liked the sound of it, and repeated, "Cool. Very cool."

Frodo pulled at his elbow and drew him away as Gandalf began walking very fast away from the shop. The hobbits had to trot to keep up with him. Gandalf did not stop until they had left the bright lights and noise behind them; he paused eventually on a large bridge over a wide stretch of water. On one side, Frodo could dimly make out lots of large buildings, and on the other, more water, and more buildings. Even from the bridge, lights were visible, and the big metal things still roared on the roads, giving the hobbits a fright as they flew past, and leaving a funny smell in the air when they had gone. People still walked on the roads, going hither and thither about their business.

"Does this place never sleep?" Gimli said aloud.

"Its always awake." Frodo said thoughtfully. "Its alive, too, in an odd sort of way. Everyone in it, always so busy, always doing something, gives the city a life of its own. It feeds on the lives of its inhabitants, yet supports them by its deadness."

Sam looked at him in suprise, for Frodo sounded completely serious. His face, too, looked less strained than it had been of late. The Ring did not seem to be affecting Frodo as much in this world. _Well, that's good then,_ Sam thought.

Gandalf said, in a voice that gave no room for questions, "Everyone, come close. Now, we need to find somewhere to sleep tonight. We cannot walk through London the entire night."

"Can we not find a corner somewhere?" asked Gimli. "Anything is better than the snow under Caradhras, where we _would_ have spent this night."

"Are there no inns in this place?" Boromir asked.

"I have been watching out for one." Aragorn said. "For the most part, there seems to be just places where people go in and obtain alcohol, and then come out in the last stages of inebriation."

"I'll never take the Prancing Pony for granted again." Sam muttered to Merry.

"Why not ask one of the locals? They have proved themselves to be friendly, for the most part." Legolas proposed.

"And there is another place that I must find." Gandalf said.

"What is that?"

"A bookshop."

"A bookshop? But why?"

"So that I may find a book."

Pippin said, with a pained expression. "What book? Gandalf, I know you love to be close about life-threatening issues, but it might be safer if we all knew what the plan is. In case we get seperated." he added, a trifle smugly.

"There _is_ no plan as yet, Peregrin. And even if there was, I assure you that it would not be revealed to _you._"

Thus crushed, Pippin quietened, and Gandalf waylaid a passer-by, asking him, "Excuse me, but do you know of anyplace where we might sleep tonight?"

The man squinted through the dark and a pair of thick and dirty glasses. "Oh, this your family, is it? You should try a B and B, they have good prices, and plenty of TV for your grandchildren."

"_Grandchildren?_" Frodo squeaked, while Merry, Pippin and Sam went off into gales of laughter. The man came to the conclusion that he had been insulted, and stalked off in a huff. Gimli chuckled into his beard, and Boromir hid a smile at the expression on Gandalf's face, while Legolas and Aragorn exchanged amused glances.

---------

Finally, they had no choice but to bed down in a small tunnel that went underneath the street. After nearly getting run over by the horrendous metal things, they managed to get across the road. It was Merry who noticed that the big post with lights on commanded the stream of traffic. If it glowed red, the things stopped long enough for people to cross, if it went green, then the things moved.

"At least they obey something." Gimli said, squatting down on a clean patch of the floor and dropping his axe with a sigh. The others followed suit and leaned back against the grey walls. The tunnel was smelly and a bit drafty, and someone else was already in it, a woman with a bag huddled up in a rough coat on the other side. She glared at them suspiciously, but when she saw that they meant no harm, settled down and began leafing through a paper. Frodo dropped his head down onto his knees and shut his eyes. He had not realised it before, but he was tired. The excitement of the new world combined with the effects of the snows of Caradhras combined, and Frodo drifted off into slumber.

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	4. Chapter 4

_**Disclaimer:**_ _I own nix._

**Thank you for all the reviews! Sorry for the delay in uploading. I had written this, but there was a problem and it got lost, so I had to write it out again. Grr: (**

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_**Chapter Four.**_

When Frodo woke, it was to the rumblings and roarings of traffic overhead. He stretched, feeling stiff. The others were stirring around him; Merry sat up and scratched his curly head, yawning expansively. Pippin opened one eye, shut it and thought, _I'm hungry_, but wisely refrained from saying it out loud. As soon as Gandalf was fully awake, he hurried all the others to their feet and out of the subway into the streets. The roads were even more noisy than the day before; people and cars alike contributing to the overwhelming wave of sound. Gandalf would not tell where we was going, but shepherded the hobbits before him and trailing the others behind, he made his way to the main body of shops that they had encountered last night.

"Wh-where are we goin'?" Sam panted.

"Save your breath." Frodo advised him.

Gandalf ignored their quiet comments, and eventually stopped outside a big shop with a blue front. On the blue was written in white, _WH Smith._ "Wait outside for me." Gandalf said. "Aragorn, do not let them wander. I shall not be long." He disappeared inside.

"Strider..."

"Yes, Pippin?"

"What about breakfast?"

"Maybe when Gandalf has finished in this shop."

"I wonder what he wants here." Boromir said, looking in at the windows. "It seems to be selling books."

They waited outside for what seemed a very long time. People passed, most too busy with their own business to bother about the Fellowship, but some pointed, stared and made comments that made Gimli clench his fist around his axe handle and made Boromir look uneasy. Legolas, his face expressionless, said, "_Aragorn, aniron gwanna... tellin men raen i..."_

_"Mae, Legolas."_

Pippin sniffed the air, and said, "I can smell something - "

"There is a time and a place for eating," Gandalf said, coming out through the door. "And this is not it."

"Did you find what you wanted?" Aragorn asked.

Gandalf slowly nodded. He looked rather worn and grim, bent over by some knowledge. Then he seemed to shake whatever it was off, and he said briskly, "I have found the solution to our problem. I know how we can get back to Middle Earth and complete our Quest. Let us go somewhere less public."

They went across the road to a big building on the other side of the street. There were lots of notices outside, and Frodo read silently, _NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM OPEN TODAY! BRAND NEW JURASSIC EXHIBITION!_

There were very few people about, and Gandalf stopped here. Turning to face them all, he said, "You heard what that woman said yesterday. That we are fictional characters."

Everyone nodded.

"That brought to my mind something that I had read in the records at Isengard. About a man who - it turns out - was from this world, and managed to get into Middle Earth. He had a device which he used; I do not know how it worked, or where he got it from. But its name was the _Iant-tri-amar._"

"What does that mean?"

"Its Elvish, Pippin." Frodo said under his breath. "It means _bridge-through-worlds._"

"Correct. This device enabled this man to travel to Middle Earth, but it also took him further forward in time, so he ended up in Middle Earth's future. He stayed there for several years, and then he came back to his own world and his own time..." Gandalf paused, then said, "And then he wrote a book about what he had witnessed. _That_ is why everyone thinks we are fictional characters, because this man wrote about a book about what happened, that hasn't happened yet and hadn't happened then, and made it sound as though it really had happened."

There was a silence. Then Pippin said, "You've really outdone yourself this time, Gandalf. Of all the confusing statements you've made in the past, _that_ was the most confusing."

"Does that mean that what I'm doing now is in the past that this man saw, when it was actually the future, and is now the present?" Merry asked.

"My head hurts," Sam sighed.

"How does this help us, though? Will this man be able to help us to get back?" Boromir asked

"No. He has been dead for many years, but I think he still has the device hidden in his house. I found an atlas in the bookshop, and looked up where it is." Gandalf replied. "The man - Tolkein, by name - lived in a place called Oxford, in the twentieth house in Northmoor Road. If we go to his house, we can locate the _Iant-tri-amar_, and return to Middle Earth and complete our Quest."

"How far away is this Oxford place?" Frodo asked.

"About seventy miles away from London."

Pippin looked dismayed at the thought of the long distance, but said bravely, "When do we start?"

"As soon as we can get sufficent food to take with us. We do not know if we will be able to buy any on the way. Oh, and we must buy some new clothes. We stand out far too much in the ones we wear now. I asked one of the workers in the bookshop, and he gave me directions to a shop where we can get cheap clothes. He said it was a charity shop, which means that the money made from it goes to orders of people who help the poor and needy of this city."

"But, surely, then." Aragorn said. "It would be an expensive shop, so that more money would go to the poor?"

Gandalf shook his head. "That is not how it works in this world. He said it would be cheap."

Aragorn was troubled, but the younger hobbits were excited at the thought of getting new clothes. The shop, when they came to it, was a big one, with shelves on the walls jammed full of odd trinkets and ornaments, books, and other things. Gandalf began rummaging through the heap of clothes on rack in a corner. He had been carefully observing what other people had been wearing, and he now had a pretty good idea of what they would be expected to wear. Legolas looked at the ornaments on the shelves, passing over the cruder ones, touching the more ornate ones with delicate fingers. Aragorn and Boromir flicked through the books on the shelves; some attracted their interest, others made Aragorn raise his eyebrows and Boromir look scandalised. Pippin viewed the box-like things on the shelf below. They were hard, shiny and glossy; and seemed cases for the black, rectangular objects inside. They were decorated with pictures and text. Pippin saw, _Terminator 3, The Lion King_, and another one called_, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers_. He stared in astonishment. On the cover was a picture of Frodo! And Gandalf, and Aragorn, Arwen, Sam and Legolas! There were other people he did not know as well, and on the back was a small, pale, bony creature that looked vaguely hobbit-like, sitting on a rock and eating something. Also on the back was a block of writing, and Pippin saw the words, _The Fellowship has broken... _He hurridly put it back down again, not wanting to know anything more at all.

"Pippin," came Gandalf's voice, and he turned. Gandalf held up a shirt against him, then shook his head. "Too big. They do not accomadate for hobbit sizes, it seems."

Eventually, Gandalf had a pile of clothing that he dumped on the counter. The woman behind it smiled at him. "That's a lot of clothes you got, Gandalf."

Gandalf thought, _I will never be able to get used to complete strangers calling me by my name_; but he smiled back, and answered courteously, "I hope I have enough for them." He put the handful of money that was left on the counter top. The woman shuffled through the coins, took most of them, and left behind an alarmingly small amount. When the clothes had been neatly folded and placed in a big white bag, Gandalf called all the others, and they went out of the shop.

"We will have to change in the park we came into at the first." Gandalf said. "It is near here, and did not seem well-frequented by the public."

Inside the park, there was hardly anyone about. Gandalf divided up the clothes and when everyone had their's, they went behind some convenient bushes. Frodo pulled his on, then squinted down at himself. He was wearing dark blue trousers of a stretchy, tough material with a slight hole in one knee, and a baggy white shirt of cotton. He came from behind his bush, and met Pippin. Pippin was dressed in similar fashion to Frodo, but his shirt was green.

"Oh, Frodo!" Pippin exclaimed. "You look...cool!"

"Do I?" Frodo gave a little twirl, pleased.

"How do you think _I_ look?"

"Very good." Frodo approved.

"I think we blend in more, now." Merry said, emerging from behind a bush with lilac flowers. He was wearing a white shirt and black trousers exactly like Frodo's. "Apart from our hair." he added. "Not many people I've seen have curly hair like us."

Sam was wearing exactly the same clothes as Merry, and he held an odd type of hat in his hand, with a stiff peak, and a white N and Y entertwined on its front. He said, looking embarressed, "I feel daft. And this hat makes my hair go all wrong." He put it on to demonstate, but Frodo said, "I think it looks good, Sam. Keep it on."

"Yes, do." Legolas said. He, Gimli and the men came up together, and they all looked so different from their normal appearances that the hobbits had to laugh. Legolas and Gimli were wearing the blue trousers; the elf had a light blue button-up shirt, and Gimli had an enormous red shirt that went almost to his knees with a strange white symbol on the front. Aragorn was dressed all in black, and Boromir in light grey trousers like the others' and a faded orange shirt with three slashes across the front, like a picture of claws tearing the fabric. Gandalf was in blue trousers and a simple white shirt. His glare dared the hobbits to make any comments, and they swallowed their laughter.

"Now," Gandalf said, tying their old clothes up into packs and handing them out. "We just need to buy food, and we can begin. For our Quest to save Middle Earth must continue!"

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_A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating. How is this chapter? Too silly? Too O/C? I apologise to those who are more fluent in Elvish than I; my knowledge of it is limited, so my speeches in it may not be entirely accurate. _


	5. Chapter 5

_**Disclaimer:**_ _I own nix. Like blinkin' duh._

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_**Chapter Five**_

"Are we there yet?"

"You know we're not."

"I know, I just wanted to say that."

"Pippin, a word of advice: be quiet."

Pippin hitched his pack higher on his back and quietened. It seemed that they had been walking for hours, and yet they were still in London. The streets were just as crowded with people, the roads as crowded with the big roaring metal things that they had discovered were called "cars" or "vans" or "trucks".

The Fellowship trudged on the streets of London towards Oxford and the mysterious Tolkein's house to find the still more mysterious _Iant-tri-amar_. They still attracted a few stares, as they all carried large bundles, Gandalf had his staff, and they all had their weapons. They passed on without mishap, though, until they stopped for lunch. They had had no breakfast, and Gandalf saw the need for an early lunch if he wanted to keep the hobbits on their feet and in something at least resembling good spirits. They stopped at a small shop that had interesting smells wafting out of its door. They had managed to purchase enough food earlier in the day to last them for several days, and now thier supply of coins was running seriously low. Gandalf eyed the shop window, and studied the price list stuck up inside. He managed to decipher what it meant, and went inside. Soon he was back with a little cardboard box in one hand, and a big paper cup in the other.

"This is all I could get," he said. "We have no more coins left, now." He opened the box and passed it round, adding, "_One_ each," to Pippin's hopeful glance.

Inside the box were a selection of small pastry rings with brown icing. When they had all taken one, there were two left over.They were very tasty, and they all gulped them down in one bite. Gandalf took a swallow from the cup he was holding, then blinked and coughed. Then he handed it round, saying, "Just a mouthful each - for all of us. Be careful, it's hot. It's _hot_ I said!" This as Sam swallowed his mouthful and immediately yelped in pain.

Merry wisely handed the cup to Pippin before taking his share, asking him, "What's it like, Pip?"

"Why are you asking me?"

"Because you're the one obsessed with anything edible. Go on."

Pippin did so; his face changed into an expression of suprise at the taste that hit his tongue. "Oh, it's strange!" He took another swallow and in his eagerness burnt his tongue. "OW!"

"What does it _taste_ like?" Merry wanted to know; practically.

"It's..." Pippin's voice trailed off. Instead, he asked, "What is this stuff, Gandalf?"

"I think the serving woman said it was 'coff-fee'."

"Coff-fee." Pippin repeated. "Can I have another cake?"

"_No_. They must be saved for later. Come on now, we have wasted enough time as it is."

They walked on, passing the cup of "coff-fee" round until it had all gone. The hobbits found that it went to their heads in a most peculiar way, making Frodo start thinking of poetry he could write about this experience when they got home, and making Pippin and Merry skip slightly as they walked. Sam, solid and less easily effected, had not had much anyway, and stumped along in silence, feeling his stomach grumble.

All went well until they reached a very busy part of the street. There was so many people walking in different directions that the Fellowship had to stop for fear of losing each other. They pressed up against the wall and in that way kept on at a snail's pace. Suddenly, Aragorn felt a hand on his shoulder, and a voice said, "Excuse me, sir."

They all stopped and turned around. Behind them were two men in black and white uniforms and wearing an odd type of flat black hat. The older one said, "Excuse me, but may I see those weapons you have there?"

Aragorn exchanged glances with the others, then unsheathed Anduril and held it out to the officer. Glamdring, Boromir's sword, Legolas' bow and hunting knives and Gimli's axe were also inspected. The first man felt Anduril's edge and drew in his breath with a hiss of pain when his finger slipped and bled. "Its sharp!" he exclaimed.

The second man snickered, and the other glared at him before saying sternly to Aragorn, "Sir, I'm afarid I shall have to confiscate this weapon, and the others in your posession."

"_What_?"

At the horrified look on Aragorn's face, the officer said reasonably, "Well, that makes sense, don't it? I mean, you can't just walk around with a sword - a _sharp_ sword, no less - like it was an umbrella."

"But, you cannot do this! What authority do you have?"

The man's face hardened. "As police, we are able to do this. I must ask you to hand them over peacefully."

"We refuse."

"Then, I am afraid..."

What the man was afraid of was never found out, for Aragorn shot a quick look at Gandalf who nodded, shouted "Come on!" and dived into the crowd with the others. Aragorn grabbed Anduril back from the man and plunged after them. Behind them, he heard the man shouting, "Stop them! Stop them!"

The Fellowship darted through the crowds, weaving around people, ducking under arms and avoiding legs and bags. "Find - find a corner." Gandalf panted, tucking his staff under his arm and looking ridiculous with it. They ducked round the corner that he pointed out to them, and ducked around it into a side alley. They watched the police men running past, and let out their breaths in a collective sigh.

"That was close!" Pippin remarked.

"Too close," Boromir said. "If our weapons are going to attract this much attention, we ought to hide them."

Frodo peered out of the alley, and announced, "They've gone now." He stepped out into the crowds just as Gandalf cried sharply, "No, Frodo! Get back!"

Frodo turned back, and opened his mouth in suprise to say something. That was when a tall man with long white hair and beard materialised out of the crowds, and grabbed Frodo from behind. He smiled as Gandalf started forward, and wheeling about, dived into the crowds, dragging Frodo with him.

"Saruman!" Gandalf cried in horror.

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	6. Chapter 6

_**Disclaimer:**_ _I own nix._

**Thank y'all who reviewed!**

_**Chapter Six**_

"After them!" Gandalf roared.

Galvanised into action by his cry, the others flung themselves out of the alleyway and into the throng of people. Aragorn looked around wildly, but it was Legolas who pointed, exclaiming, "There! In the road!"

Saruman dashed into the road, heedless of traffic, and across to the other side. There was a small white van parked at the pavement; Saruman opened the door, bundled Frodo in, got in himself, and with a roar of exhaust, the van shot away into the stream of traffic.

"Where did he learn to drive, I wonder?" Gimli said.

"Never mind that!" Boromir was nearly dancing with frustration. "We need to follow them!"

Aragorn surveyed the traffic. Further along the road was a bus stop, and there was a bus crawling up the road towards it...

"This way!" Aragorn plunged down the road, and got the stop just ahead of the bus. It stopped, and the door opened; the driver said cheerfully, "Sorry, mate, can't take you. This bus is going back to the shed, and - "

He got no further. Aragorn leapt aboard and hit the driver squarely under his chin. The man crumpled up like a piece of wet paper, and the future King of Gondor scrambled into the driver's seat, curtly ordering the rest of the Fellowship: "Get in quickly!"

"Do you know how this works, Strider?" Sam asked.

"Yes, Samwise Gamgee, I am thoroughly efficent in all forms of driving big metal creations that I never knew existed until a few days ago. It's all the Dunadan ever did, drive around in these things."

A sarcastic Strider was something new, and Sam quickly sat down in one of the seats. Aragorn stamped down on the pedal by his foot, and the bus lurched forward, spilling Merry and Gimli from their respective seats.

"Be careful!" Gandalf warned as Aragorn grasped the steering wheel. "Don't crash into anyth - "

There was a screeching scrape of metal on metal, and Aragorn stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "Sorry, sir!" to someone, before hauling at the wheel again.

"Can you see the van?" Aragorn demanded. "Someone - Legolas - come up here and give me directions."

Legolas, making his way to the front by stages, hauling himself along by the handholds on the ceiling, stared out of the front window, and pointed a finger. "There! That way, past that red car!"

Aragorn yanked the wheel sideways and the bus leaned over onto one side, swaying precariously.

"Stri-d-e-e-r!" Pippin screeched. "We're going to fall!"

"No, we are not!"

"Yes, we are!"

"We are _not!_"

"Go right!"

"I see it!"

The bus swerved in and out of lanes, gears screaming as Aragorn submitted the unfamiliar vehicle to every sort of technical abuse managable. They charged down the streets, leaving destruction and mad, gesticulating drivers in their wake. But they were gaining on the small white van. Legolas could make out Saruman's white hair and hard face at the van's window. Suddenly, the back doors of the van burst open, and Frodo appeared, gawking at the rush of traffic and maniacally-driven bus following them. Saruman reached back and tried to grab him back in, but Frodo nimbly jumped out of the way, and to avoid Saruman's groping fingers, jumped and grasped the top of the van. Getting one kneee up, he managed to scramble on top of the van's roof as the bus drew level.

"Open the door!" Aragorn commanded, and Pippin leapt to obey; he hauled the bus door open, and leaned out, holding on with one hand to Legolas' arm. Frodo stared, trying to keep his balance on the slippery van-roof.

"Frodo!" Pippin yelled, high on caffeine and adrenaline. "Frodo, my main man, jump for it!"

"I'm not your main man!" Frodo screamed back. "And I refuse to jump!"

The van lurched as Saruman swerved, attempting to loose his persuers, and Frodo fell. Merry and Sam, watching from the windows, cried out in alarm and horror, but as he fell, Frodo's hand latched onto the side mirror, and he swung himself over onto the bonnet of the car, effectively blocking the windscreen. Saruman glared at him, and driving one-handed, poked his staff out of the window and socked Frodo over the head with it. Frodo yelped, but still held on; as Saruman drew back for another blow, Pippin caught the end of the staff, and Gandalf, taking advantage of the situation, put his hand over Pippin's, and pulled it into the bus. Thrown off his stride, Saruman took both hands off the wheel.

With the windscreen blocked, and his staff gone, the wreck that happened fifty seconds later was really inevitable.

Frodo went somersaulting through the air back towards the bus. Boromir stretched out his arms and caught the flying hobbit before he came into painful contact with the ground and placed him inside the bus, where he was set upon by the others, all exclaiming over his safety. Aragorn, who by now had realised that driving a bus did not envolve mass-destruction, quietly trundled the bus over and parked it by the side of the wreck. The front of the white van was crushed and all jammed up from the collision with the lampost, and inside, Saruman was lying, tangled up with the airbag and his head on the dashboard. He was quite unconcious, and blood trickled slowly from a gash over one eye.

Gandald shook his head. "He will revive soon enough, but let us not linger here. We must get to Oxford before he can awake and cause us even more trouble. Frodo, are you alright?"

"Yes." Frodo cautiously felt the back of his head where he had been hit. "It's just a bruise...I think."

"Good. Look there!"

They all looked, and saw that they had left the main body of London behind them. There were fewer houses, and no shops; instead there was only a massive road stretching onwards as far as the eye could see. It was divided up into many lanes, and it was very busy with all kinds of cars and lorries. Leaving the car-wreck behind them, they all started walking on the grassy edge of the road. Pippin began humming _Rendez-Vous Four, _and Gandalf reached over and tousled his hair. "Well done with the staff, Pippin." he said, smiling; then he brought something out of his pocket and gave it to him. It was the last donut.

"Thank you!" Pippin said eagerly.

"Save it for an emergency," Gandalf advised, and winked solemnly.

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_A/N: Yeah, I know, sorry it's a short chapter and all. There's going to be two more chapters of this, and they're all going to be short, so be warned. I think I prefer writing short chapters...there! You have it! I've admitted to my appallingly laziness. Sorry, reviewers mine. _


	7. Chapter 7

_**Disclaimer:** I own nix._

**Thank y'all who reviewed!**

_**

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**_

_**Chapter Seven.**_

The Fellowhip trudged along the motorway. The air was thick and heavy with pollution, clouds of dust rose from the roads; and for the first time since their arrival, this new world was distinctly unnatractive. Before, it had been strange and bewildering, but it had been exciting and exotic as well. Now, Sam thought wistfully of the fresh grass and healthy flowers of the Shire, and the tidy gardens of Hobbiton. Here, the grass was withered and brown, and what few weed-like plants there were on the road-side, drooped sadly forward, as though smothered by the choking petrol fumes.

Merry coughed, and swatted at the tiny flies that skittered to and fro in the air. "How much further have we to go, Gandalf? We've been walking for days, now."

"And I'm hungry, and thirsty..." Pippin muttered.

"There!" Gandalf pointed to a road sign ahead of them. On the bright, flat, blue surface was stamped in white letters: _Oxford (10)._ "Only ten more miles to go."

"Only ten more miles on this barren road-way," Gimli growled. "with air not fit to breathe, and surrounded by things that threaten to run us over without the slightest provocation. On to Oxford!"

Those words had been repeated often during the last few days, and everyone was heartily sick of hearing them. No one replied to Gimli's comment.

- - - - -

Oxford was clean, and relatively uncrowded compared to London. The Fellowship worked its way up through the streets, and Gandalf waylaid a passer-by: "Do you know where Northmoor Road is?"

The passer-by pointed. "Down there. First right, third left, then fourth left again."

They followed the man's instructions, and were soon at Northmoor Road. They started down it. Gandalf said, looking at the houses they passed, "We need Number 20. Look out for it."

However, as they passed Number 15, Number 17, Number 19, and Number 21, he started to feel puzzled, and not a little worried. When they passed Number 25, Gandalf stopped in despair. "We are getting nowhere! The numbers are all wrong!"

"It's all the odd numbers," Aragorn said. "All the houses are numbered with the odd numbers, and we need the even."

"See!" Legolas pointed to the other side of the road. "The houses on that side have the even numbers! We are on the wrong side of the road."

"I wonder what the purpose of this custom is," Boromir mused. "Mayhap the people here have superstitions concerning the odd and even numbers."

They hurried to the other side, and soon found Number 20. It had a blue plaque on the front wall, above its windows. "Here we are!" Gandalf exclaimed. "And now, we must find the _Iant-Tri-Amar._"

"Oh, no," whispered a low voice by Frodo's ear. He whirled around, and saw Saruman. The wizard was dirty, his long white clothes and hair were mussed, and he glared malevolently at them from underneath a lump the size of a chicken's egg on his forehead. He bared his teeth in what could just - by a lot of imagination - pass for a smile. He held his staff, chipped and scratched in his hand, and Pippin thought: _He must have picked it up at the wreck. Why didn't we think to throw it away?_

Gandalf brought his own staff around so it was pointing at Saruman. Out of the corner of his mouth, he murmured, "_Aragorn, si bado, no círar a tiro an Iant-Tri-Amar. Avo acheno_." Saruman whipped his staff up, and Gandalf parried in a blur of movement.

"Come on!" Aragorn yelled, and ran up the path to the house, the others following. Aragorn hammered on the door, and as soon as it opened, stuck his foot against it and shoved; the one who had opened it, staggered backwards in suprise, and they pushed their way in, knocking the man against the wall, where he leaned, gulping in suprise.

"Aragorn! _Man sad Iant-Tri-Amar?_" Legolas called, running up the stairs.

"I do not know!"

Merry, Pippin, Sam and Frodo burst into a room at the top of the house. "Now think!" Merry commanded. "Where would you hide a thing like this device?"

"In a study," Frodo said, thinking of Bilbo. "Among papers, or in a place where it wouldn't get noticed..."

Suddenly, the window exploded outwards, and glass flew in all dircetions. All four hobbits ducked; as a chunk of glass embeddded itself in the wall above Sam's head, there were two thuds. One was Gandalf shooting through the empty window and landing on the floor, and the other was Saruman following suit. Before any of the hobbits could move, Saruman thrust his staff forward and a flash of orange light errupted from its end. It hit the wall, and crumbled it. The hobbits were covered in a mess of rubble, plaster, wood and dust, but were otherwise unharmed. As they crawled out, the door to the room flew open, banged back on its hinges, and the other members of the Fellowship stood in the door way. Saruman's eyes darted from one face to another with the frantic defiance of a trapped animal, and as Frodo came out, coughing and spluttering, he took a quick step to the window, fully intending to throw himself out and escape.

At that moment, though, a large chunk of plaster fell from the wrecked ceiling and smashed open in the middle of the floor. Among the rough, white flakes lay a sphere of dark blue, as wide across as Aragorn's hand. It was engraved all over with strange lines and curves, and a long string of Elvish runes were cut into its surface, circling it all the way around. For a split-second, everyone froze in mid-action, simply taking in the simple fact that this was the _Iant-Tri-Amar_, that this was what they had searched to find, and now...

Saruman dived for the device, Gimli tripped him up, Frodo reached out and took the device in his hands, struggling to decipher the Elvish as Saruman fought with the others to get to him. With a last final effort, Saruman threw Boromir off, whacked Legolas with his staff, and clutched for the device, just as Frodo raised it in the air. Clasping it with his two hands, he cried, "_Aiya Eärendil Elenion Ancalima! Lasto beth daer, lasto beth lammen! Bado na Ennorath! _"

As Frodo spoke, the room was filled with a brilliant silver light, like star-light and moon-light mingled together; it shot out of the _Iant-Tri-Amar_ in a brilliant shockwave, passing through everyone in the room, and returning again to the silver fire at the device's centre. The room began to shake, and little silver waves began to ripple over the device's surface, snaking over it and onto Frodo's hands like tendrils, or feelers of a plant.

The light grew in its intensity, blotting out everything, leaving no room for thought, no room for consideration. Out of the depths of his heart, Aragorn gasped, almost weeping with the power of what he was seeing: "_Eärendil! Undómiel! Linnon am meleth vîn! _"

There was a high, sweet sound, as of singing, far, far away carried on the breeze; then that faded, to be replaced by the howling of the wind. Frodo opened his eyes. They were back in the snows of Caradhras, with the blizzard stinging their faces, and hunger gnawing at the stomachs. Bill the pony snorted, looked at them mournfully, and slapped his tail against his legs in an effort to brush away the snow that was rising above his hocks.

"We're back," Boromir said, and his words were caught by the wind, and thrown up to the snow-clad tops of the mountains.

"Yes," Gandalf said. "We are back. Come, I can see a path off of this precipice."

They started off down the path that Gandalf showed them, Sam with his hands buried deep in Bill's mane. Pippin stuck his hands in his pockets, and encountered something small and round. He drew it out. It was the donut that he had been saving for an emergency. Pippin sighed, and following the others, slowly nibbled away at the now dry pastry.

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**Translations:**

**Aragorn, si bado, no cirar a tiro an Iant-Tri-Amar. Avo acheno.**_ -_ _Aragorn, go now, before it is too late and look for the Iant-Tri-Amar. Don't look back._

**Man sad Iant-Tri-Amar?** - _Where is the Iant-Tri-Amar?_

**Aiya Earendil Elenion Ancalima! Lasto beth daer, lasto beth lammen! Bado na Ennorath!** - _Hail Earendil brightest of the stars! Listen to the great word, listen to the words of my tongue! Go to Middle-Earth!_

**Earendil! Undomiel! Linnon am meleth vin!** - _Earendil! Evenstar! I sing for our love!_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Disclaimer: **_ _I own nix._

**Ta to all who reviewed! You have come now to the end.**

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_**Epilogue. **_

_Months later, on the Pelennor Fields... _

The Black Rider gave a cry of hatred that stung the very ears like venom, and his mace fell upon Éowyn's shield. It shattered into pieces, and she stumbled to her knees, her arm broken. The Lord of the Nazgûl raised his mace once more, this time to kill. But suddenly, he too stumbled forward, and the air was rent with his cry of pain. His stroke missed, and ploughed into the ground. Merry's sword had stabbed him from behind, driving into the sinew behind the Nazgûl's knee.

Merry staggered back, his sword dropping to the ground, burning away like a piece of wood. His arm went numb, and fell useless by his side. "Éowyn! Éowyn!" he cried.

Éowyn struggled up, and with the last of her strength, she drove her sword between crown and mantle. Her sword broke, and she fell forward, utterly spent. But the crown and hauberk were empty, tumbled upon the ground in a shapeless black mass; and a wailing cry went up on the wind; that passed with the wind, and was never heard again in that age of this world.

Merry stood, blinking like an owl in the daylight, blinded by his tears. Tears for Éowyn, tears for Théoden. Tears for all that was hopless in the Quest for Middle Earth. Tears for Middle Earth itself. But in the midst of his grief, Merry felt something, a presence that made him look up. A man was standing not that far ahead of him, and amidst the despair, agony and destruction of battle, this man was writing, quite heedless of the dangers of the fighting that raged about him on either side. The man was dressed oddly, yet in a way that was familiar. Merry recognized the style of dress - different from the clothing that he had seen there, but still with the unmistakable mark of that wonderful, confusing, oblivious other world. The man was glancing about him, taking in the details of what was happening, writing it all down in the book he had in one hand. Under the other arm was tucked a large blue sphere, shining with silver tracing.

Silent and still, Merry watched him, as though the numbness of his arm had touched his mind, and now held him motionless. Perhaps feeling the look, the man lifted his head. Human gaze met hobbit gaze, seeing all that was alien, and all that was alike between them. The man smiled, and nodded his head slightly.

It was almost a salute.

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_A/N: There! It's finished! Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Calo anor na ven, mellon nin!_


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